Idiot's guide to survival in the army

Finally a post from me, finally having the time to post after more than 5weeks of absence. This post is not really about surviving in the army, but more about slacking in the army and doing as little as possible. Here I'm providing tips to how you can do so, these tips are based on real life events of the fellow recruits in my Company.

Tip 1: Put on your braces before you go into the army
Not only that your braces are removed after your 2 years of service, you get to go for many dental appointments. Going for appointments means having to skip training and get out of that hellhole.

Tip 2: Feign an injury
This guy in my company deserves a grammy for his outstanding performance. He even managed to get a long term MC which is 1 month long. This SOB claims he has back pain, so he couldn't stand, walk or even carry anything. He was excused from every activity. He was using crutches and was pushed around in a wheelchair. He was actually spotted by other recruits in my company of him walking around without his crutches. So I don't think the x-ray is going to find anything wrong with him but as long you're still in pain, the commanders are afraid to take the risk and put you in training.

Tip 3: Get depression
You don't need to be depress to make claims that you have depression. You just need to have that look in your face, that emotionless face. Like what my platoon mate did, he told the medical officer that he felt like killing his own platoon mates. So immediately he was taken out of training and sent for review. It would be even easier if you were actually depressed before and have a medical history to prove it. Having depression, you would have more reasons to book out of camp for counselling sessions, phychiatry sessions and medical reviews.

Tip 4: Fake an appointment
You don't need to have a real appointment to book out. That is one of the biggest flaw in their system. They don't check your appointment card.

Tip 5: Sleeping disorder
Its one of the easiest to fake it. It doesnt matter if you really have it or don't. Just declare it and there you go, you will be pulled out of training as you do not have enough rest. They think it would be dangerous for you to go through training without having sufficient rest.

The main thing is for you to make a big deal out of whatever condition or injury that you might have. You need a lot of commitment to carry it out. This guide is only for the enlistees that don't like stay-ins. Use at your own risk.